Hi friends, family, and extended internet family!
While everyone around me has been busy having babies, all that's been on my mind is what a cool grandmother I'm gonna be. Yes, I know - I'm skipping a few steps, but as I was watching In Our Mothers' Gardens with these black women talking about their mothers' and grandmothers' radical self-care and healing, that's all I could think about. The film got me thinking, "What lessons from my family's matriarchs do I want to pass down that may help the next generation thrive?"
Of the many, these are the three I want to share:
Lesson 1: Stay curious, and keep learning.
I'm grateful that my mother instilled me with a curiosity to engage the world openly so it can constantly surprise you and help you grow. This mindset has helped me through some dark times in my life. Most recently, being curious about my ongoing sadness finally helped me snap out-of-it by seeing the hidden desire for connection during the COVID-19 pandemic.
This paved the way for me to learn how to deepen my relationships, become more compassionate towards myself and others, and recognize the signs of depression. I hope to pass on this growth-oriented philosophy towards life and learning so my descendants can keep evolving for themselves and the people around them.
Lesson 2: Take responsibility for your health, happiness, and success.
A wise man, Wayne Dyer once said, " You can give your children everything in the world, except these three things..." Because no one, not parents, partners, doctors, coaches, school, society, or life can give you something that only you can define for yourself and therefore only you can give yourself. When you find yourself making others responsible, you also give away your personal power - that can present itself as feeling stuck, complaining, or blaming others.
I finally saw this for myself when I was cancer-free, but still wondering “What is wrong with me?” hoping some expert would tell me. What changed was finally realizing and accepting myself as the catalyst of the transformation I hoped to see in my life. Taking back my personal responsibility is when my life as I knew it changed forever. I hope to pass on this philosophy of personal empowerment so the future can always know itself as the master of its destiny.
Lesson 3: Forgive, because life doesn’t always turn out the way you want.
Like many of that generation, my grandmother lived through a world war, a cultural revolution, lost two children to illness, and emigrated to a foreign country without speaking a lick of the language. Yet, she was so full of spirit and love for those around her that you would never guess what she’s been through.
There is so much “fixing” this world needs that it’s hard not to feel inadequate. In order to honor the sacrifices made for me to be in this position of privilege, I’ve forgiven myself for only being human. In order to build the world that I envision, I also need to forgive the injustices of the world that I was born into. I hope to pass on the generosity of forgiveness to my grandkids, so that in the face of life unexpected, there can still be life moving forward.
Now for me to keep doing the personal work because you know what they say about kids, “If you want them to pick up their socks, you need to first pick up your own.” Or something like that about leading the next generation by example…
This is my mama, a self-learned healer who helped herself out of depression and chronic pain. Here she is proudly holding up her loot of wild-gathered mulberries from her home in New Orleans, LA. I have her to thank for who I am today.
Thanks for hopping aboard my train of thought! Over and out.
Have something to add? A question? Feedback? I'd love to hear from you. The best way to get a hold of me is to reply directly to this email. I read all your responses.
Until next time - have a happy healthy journey,
Maymie
What valuable lessons to pass on!👏👏