#023. An Almost Apology That's More of a Declaration
Channeling Uncomfortable Feelings for Display in My Writing
I want to thank everyone for the love from last newsletter about my ghosts. You people are too sweet!
A few of you sounded concerned, so I want to reassure you that this wasn’t a covert cry for help. I AM going through a tough time, and it too will pass. It’s just the lifecycle of… well, life.
But if you were reading my stuff like, “Ugh, well THAT was uncomfortable,” then I should be high-fiving myself for doing a good job of dropping you into my space. I’d like to think it means I’m becoming a better writer.
In fact, I’m going draw a quick comparison of myself award winning musician-songwriters Taylor Swift and Kendrick Lamar. They’re amazing at channeling dark emotions into a healthy form of creative self-expression. Except, instead of melody and lyrics, my choice of tools are syntax and prose (for now).
I need to keep writing about ghosts and demons for a bit to get it out of my system. These are going to be uncomfortable. But, sometimes it’s good for people to feel uncomfortable. Especially if we’re all going to grow together.
Either way, I can’t worry too much about what you all may think. It’s not personal, but when I think too much about you, I tend to forget about me and what I’m trying to do here. It’s an empath’s dilemma. Just to make sure you’re okay, I’m inclined to shield you from the discomforts of my reality, even if it means losing a little bit of myself each time.
Pulling away from everyone for a second helps me remember that the audience is only supposed to provide context, but it’s me who’s conducting the show.
When I’m in that quiet space free of other energies, I am able to capture the pure essence of my experience and relay it back as an almost tangible entity. That essence was personified as the archetype Gaymie in my last newsletter, as Laymie in my next, and others you will no doubt meet in the future.
So I guess this is sorry, not-sorry. This dark stuff is all me, too!
Feel your feelings, Maymie! We’re here for it
YEAH YOU TELL US