#035. The Grumps: An Extension of My ADHD Brain

Thoughts on brain health and ADHD symptoms.

I don’t feel ADHD symptoms all the time - it’s a spectrum of experiences that is highly dependent on how my brain is doing. The unique neurophysiology of an ADHD brain means that it’ll be more sensitive to hunger, fatigue, both under-stimulation and over-stimulation.

Ironically, the first symptom I experience from hunger is not hunger, nor fatigue for fatigue, and so on. What I feel is a surge of impatience and impulsiveness or what I call “The Flighties.” It’s like a switch gets flipped and I’ll immediately need to remove myself from whatever situation I’m in - whether it’s a person, place, thing, or activity. The relief that follows can come from a nap, a snack, a walk, a phone call, making art, or even watching something action-packed. I just need to follow the impulse.

One thing is certain, if I don’t pay attention to The Flighties, it shapeshifts into a rude, moody, anti-social creature called The Grumps. Once released, it’s too late. One can only minimize collateral damage and let the storm pass.

Fortunately, over the years I’ve befriended The Flighties. Together we created a Maymie Operations Optimization Plan that includes Grump Prevention. It contains guidelines on nutrition, meal times, macronutrient proportions, hours of sleep, sitting-to-movement ratio, stress levels, stage in the menstrual cycle, extroverting-to-intoverting ratio, screen time, noise, etc. etc.

Generally, this is just a dynamic lifestyle that ensures the brain’s basic needs are met - appropriate nutrition, rest, stimulation for the appropriate environment.

Although I am strictly responsible for executing the Maymie Operations Optimization Plan, I am fortunate to have an excellent Risk Management Specialist - my partner Ben. He has an excellent eye for spotting potential catastrophes. His contingency toolkit includes snacks and helping me off the couch or off to bed.

It sounds like a lot of work, which sometimes it is. Other times, I’m having a good brain day.

A Grumpy Brain + Milad Fakurian on Unsplash

The Grumps and Brain Health

What’s actually physiologically happening in The Grumps is either neurotransmitter levels are dipping, or the frontal lobe of my brain isn’t getting enough blood flow, or both. The brain does have checks-and-balances to recalibrate. However, life happens.

“Surgery? Thyroid cancer? Burning Man? The snowboarding concussion? Maybe that time I got food poisoning in South Africa? Chronic sleep deprivation? Gluten? EMFs? Or maybe Facebook? Definitely Facebook.”

Everything adds up towards that final tipping point when the checks-and-balances can no longer hide ADHD symptoms. For me it was all of the above. Generally though, it could be any one or combination of the following that causes the brain to lose its resilience and provoke ADHD symptoms:

• Hormone imbalance

  • Thyroid/estrogen/cortisol too high or too low 

  • Abnormal menstruation, post-partum recovery, perimenopause, menopause

• Acute or chronic brain injury

  • Concussion

  • Brain surgery

  • Whiplash or neck injury

  • Chronic sleep deprivation

  • Sleep apnea

• Chronic stress

• Poor digestion

  • Low stomach acid

  • Poor gut microbiome health

• Nutritional excesses/deficiencies

• Immune challenges

  • Chronic inflammation

  • Chronic allergies

  • Chronic infections

  • Antibiotic use

  • Heavy metal toxicity

• Poor blood flow to the brain

  • Poor posture

  • Vertebral misalignment

  • Sedentary lifestyle

  • Lack of aerobic exercise

Starting With Awareness

There were times when I felt super symptomy and hopeless. The Grumps lasted for what felt like forever. But symptoms are meant to get your attention, to help us steer our human instrument and navigate the world authentically, skillfully, and with awareness.

“We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.” - Sheryl Sandberg

I am grateful for ADHD symptoms - while inconvenient, they gave me insight into the extremes of ADHD experience that I would otherwise never understand. This invited into a deeper awareness and compassion for myself and for others dealing with something similar.

It took years for me to understand and recover my brain’s health and resilience. And now on the healthy end of the spectrum, it’s easier to be grateful for my ADHD brain - while a culprit of my symptoms, it also led me to a full and adventurous life.

To be continued… In the meantime, if you had a magic wand and could wave away one symptom of brain aging, what would it be?