#046. A "Simple" Sabbatical

A year of unlearning

A year ago, I left a comfortable albeit high-stress job to set out on a new phase of my life. I knew that if I was going to create something that aligned with my values of personal impact and personal growth, I would need to do a LOT Of unlearning and develop a LOT of trust in myself and the universe to make it work.

“When there is commitment, will power isn’t necessary. But in order for there to be commitment, there has to be trust.” - Linda Thai

Fast forward. This year has been insane, I don’t think I recognize myself from a year ago. I know I’ve been on hiatus from substack for over eight months, but my internal environment is changing faster than I can capture on the page.

A mentor has said that it’s because I’m putting myself in environments where the transformation is happening faster than the logical mind can comprehend. The only way through is to surrender to the experience, and to allow for the uncertainty to remold you.

It’s felt hard at times when I’m trying to still control what’s happening. But when I’m in the flow, it feels easy, like trusting the will of God.

Cray cray.

A few things I want to remember in order-ish:

• Got engaged to the love of my life on an amazing trip in Italy, ate tons of gluten and dairy

• Got COVID for the first time after a month of sleep-deprived 6AM Bikram Yoga

• Sat my sixth ten-day silent meditation retreat after a five year Vipassana hiatus - hardest sit yet

• Spent a week in New Orleans homesteading with Mom

• Felt inspired at Business by Design Live - more than 90% digital entrepreneurs in attendance were female. Boss babes!

• Enjoyed a week with the fiancé in Tulum for friends’ wedding - the sunshine helped with Long Covid fatigue

• Started taking Functional Medicine clients - remembering how much I like inspiring change

• Reinvigorated at the Integrative Healthcare Symposium - get really obsessive about Methylene Blue

• Started couple’s pre-martial counseling with an ADHD relationship coach - transformational!

• Relief that this is the first winter since 2020 that I didn’t have to take Dad to the ER - lots of diligence on my part

• Felt “normal” enough to graduate from ADHD coaching - that changed my life yo!

• Started an S Corporation - learning to delegate work so I can focus my time

• Started reading the Bible and watching the Chosen out of curiosity towards Christianity

• Started business coaching with Rachel Rodgers’ Hello 7 - being a healthcare practitioner is so much easier than running a business LOL.

• Sat with Kambo (Giant Tree Frog poison/medicine) - spine and digestive system felt so light

• Frequency work in Bainbridge, WA - you had to be there to get it

• Two weeks of BFF time in North Carolina learning from her six figure launches

• Attended my third ten-day silent meditation retreat service - “read” 9 books on buddhism to see what kind of person Buddha was and what he thought about commerce

• Participated in Psychodramas structure - cried three days straight, but paradoxically expansive for my emotional capacity

What’s ridiculous, is this is not comprehensive. This is just what stuck out the most. Each one of these experiences can stand on its own in a post. And at some point, they will.

There’s a small voice I hear wondering why I’m doing all this, if all this money/time/energy spent is actually just a waste. To that, I respond, if it’s something that can strip away all the falsehoods of pretending and bring me closer to truth, then it’s worth it. In less cryptic language, I mean I just want to be the Me that reaches my fullest potential.

Desert Sunrise in Joshua Tree (2024)