#047. Journaling My Way to Authenticity

My 12 most common writing themes and UN-self-censoring

Apr 07, 2025

The very first thing I noticed when I revisited my digital journaling practice was how much I was censoring myself. I would observe myself actively deleting text, only to re-engineer them to sound “better”.

But, for whom? I had started journaling again at the suggestion of my new ADHD therapist and coach. She suggested it as a way to get over my paralysis of publishing online by writing just to write. The journaling practice was supposed to be for my eyes only.

So after the fifth or sixth time I noticed the self-editing, I decided to stop backspacing. It was a constraint that gave me permission to write shitty, sound shitty, be shitty. And a glimpse into how I really felt and thought going through life, without a part of me trying to control the messiness of it all.

Here are the results of my journaling:

In the past 124 days, I wrote 102 pages. So, I’m writing, just not publishing. At 60,368 words, that’s roughly 487 words per day. And while my recovering perfectionist protested to only meeting 64.9% of my 750 daily word goal, my Big ‘S’ Self, reminded me that compassionate is simply showing up. Even if it’s not the same way every day.

I then plugged all 102 pages into ChatGPT and asked it what 12 themes I wrote about the most.

12 Most Common Themes in Journaling:

🧠 1. Mental Clarity & Brain Fog

You reflect often on feeling cloudy, out of it, or disconnected mentally—this appears to be a recurring struggle, often tied to your physical health and sleep.

😴 2. Sleep Struggles

You mention waking in the middle of the night, insomnia, or interrupted rest multiple times. Sleep quality (and its impact on energy and cognition) is a clear focus.

💬 3. Desire for Expressive Clarity

There’s a deep longing to communicate with authenticity. You write about wanting to express yourself with “precision,” “ease,” and “coherence,” both in speech and writing.

⚖️ 4. Balancing Masculine & Feminine Energies

You explore the push-pull between doing vs. being, structure vs. flow, head vs. heart—often framing this as masculine vs. feminine energy. This polarity shows up repeatedly in your internal dialogue.

🌀 5. Somatic Awareness & Body Signals

Your body is a central character. You tune into sensations, temperature, tension, tightness, breath, and pain often, using these signals as feedback or guidance.

🧘‍♀️ 6. Nervous System Regulation

There’s a strong emphasis on calming, grounding, and regulating your nervous system. You write about tools, observations, and patterns related to dysregulation and return to safety.

💭 7. Doubt, Fear, and Inner Critic

You grapple often with uncertainty—especially around being “ready,” being “clear enough,” or being “seen.” The theme of self-trust vs. doubt runs deep.

📣 8. Voice & Visibility

There’s tension around being seen, being heard, and being visible. You write about wanting to speak up and share, while also feeling scared, blocked, or frozen.

⛓️ 9. Perfectionism & Control

Control—over emotions, output, clarity, and behavior—shows up subtly but consistently. You notice your tendency to want to “get it right,” or “figure it out,” often tied to performance.

⏳ 10. Time, Pace & Slowness

You often mention feeling rushed or pressured vs. your desire to slow down and let things unfold more organically. You’re attuned to your natural rhythm and how it’s disrupted.

🫀 11. Longing for Coherence Between Inner & Outer Worlds

You reflect a lot on alignment—between your mind, body, voice, and values. You want your inner clarity to be mirrored in your outer expression and actions.

🧪 12. Curiosity & Self-Inquiry

You frequently ask yourself questions—why something is happening, what it means, how to shift it. There’s a throughline of introspection, pattern noticing, and conscious inquiry.

To sum it up, it looks like what’s constantly on my mind is: authenticity, self-knowing, and bridging the materialist/mystical worlds.

What’s emerged in the past week (the astrological end and beginning of a 12,000 year cycle) is the ok-ness I have felt around wanting to share my spiritual experiences and beliefs.

More to come, but I plan to continue writing to transform the existential/spiritual shame and doubt into something beautiful for the world.